Patricia Haman

Change

More and more people are consulting with me concerning patterns of behavior they are convinced they can not change. We are not supposed to be victims of our own behavior and addictions. We are powerful yet we can not seem to master ourselves enough to live from that empowerment. What is in the way?

we have three centers from which to perceive and act. They include the moving center (instinctual), the emotional center, and the thinking (intellectual) center. It is important to learn to observe oneself from this perspective. We have to clean up the centers so they are utilized for the correct purpose and not mixed together in inappropriate ways. Body centered healing practices tend to attempt to work with the three centers especially the instinctual or moving center since it is on this level where primary traumatic imprints are stored. David Becelli In the Trauma Release Process has identified very effective exercises to begin to clear yourself on this level.
One must simply allow the body to vibrate at the end of the exercises and allow emotion to flow if it occurs. It s very important not to "think"  (or act) in the middle of emotion but simply to allow the flow of emotion. Emotion distorts thinking.
Our thinking center is best utilized for learning information, and for comparing and contrasting, and categorizing. It is useful in the practical situations of life.
It is the emotional center that decides value, what is wanted, desired, and aimed for in life. This leads to the emotions of anger, sadness, joy, and fear. we are built to experience these emotions based on our desires. If we pay attention to them and realize the reflected desire behind them we can understand better how to work with them.

We are not created victims. we become victims due to our early experiences, our conditioning and the resulting misconceptions we carry about ourselves and about life.

Do not attend therapy that defines you as a powerless victim of circumstance or biological make-up. If you are not shcizophrenic, and experiencing hallucinations or our of control manic-depressive episodes, then you can change. IT is work but it can be done. If you have used drugs today you will experience depression, anxiety, and other related imbalances that take an extended time to heal and overcome. Don't give up. Do your work. Take responsibility, open up to the world around you. Help is everywhere. Do not trust your negative patterns of thought and the emotions that justify them.
You can change, but you must take full responsibility for every thought, emotion, and behavior you create.

Online couseling now available through paypal. Let me know when you want to get started

the healing power of touch

Twins were born in Australia this week. the Doctors told the parents one of the twins "did not make it" and gave the baby to the parents for them to say goodbye. The mother held the baby to her heart on her chest with her husband laying with them, and continued to talk to the baby for 2 hours.  The baby, revived   At first the Doctors insisted it was just reflexive.  Then the baby opened it's eyes, and the mother gave the baby breast milk on her finger and the baby sucked.  s mother folllowed her own instincts, her own truth. 

In Mexico, they found 72 bodies. the only survivors reported they were held for ransom and when no one paid from their countries of origin, they were invited to be "mules" running drugs into the US or to become shooters for the group that had caught them trying to get to the US. The people refused and were all murdered.

These are the stark realities of the power of touch. To harm, or to heal. Whenever we touch we are transmitting energy in the form of communication. we do this with our bodies also. We do it with our words. When we have feelings, they are transmitted as emotional energy which is felt by those around us. Healers and people who have a positive impact on the well-being of others transmit an intense high vibrational frequency that helps others move through their own energetic blocks clearing out misconceptions and withheld truth. This mother proves we are all healers. The bands in Mexico prove we are all killers when our own survival and lack of consciousness causes us to feel we have no limits. Those murdered proved that every act matters and we must decide on our actions as if it is the last one. At what price do we survive. where do we want to put our energy? How honest are we really willing to be? Do we have the courage to face ourselves, our blocked energy, our blocked aggression, and move toward a more intense love and focus?

all this is possible. How did Doctors and so called experts become so ARROGANT? they have convinced their "subjects" through media and through discourse that we are powerless and lack the necessary knowledge to help ourselves. We are suffering brain disorders, and are not able to make the necessary corrections.
What about the fact that we are actually an energetic unity. Our thoughts, feelings, and our bodies are one. they affect each other because they are actually levels of one thing, namely YOU. What is true self mastery, but the unification of those levels. This will automatically lead to a spiritual consciousness because it is our natural state.
When children are traumatized, they do not process emotionally. they will bypass the feeling. the feeling remains on the unprocessed dreaming level. as a result, perception is influenced, but in an unconscious unprocessed way. Children must be helped to allow the emotions to surface and become consciously experienced.
Adults are similar. they will bypass emotional trauma until they have experienced so much that their functioning begins to break down. Addiction, depression, anxiety or even real mental illness can then occur.
The important thing is to realize symptoms are symptoms, not the actual problem. You are a unity, and must integrate on all levels in order to regain balance and health. Medicine usually masks the symptoms without treating the actual problem.
In order to achieve healing and health, you must have enough energy that is enough to bring about change. Our jobs, our lifestyles do not help with this. here is the beginning of a program for change.
1. Breath deep and often
2. Cry more, and try not to think when you cry.
Give up self pity, and negative thinking when you are feeling.
3. walk everywhere you can.
4. Find out your blood type, and try the Eat Right for Your Blood type Program.
5. Write down your dreams every morning.
6. Take time to just be with yourself.
7. Learn to talk to yourself like your are a child who needs a really good supportive friend within.
8. take responsibility for every single thing you say and do.
9. Practice saying I want, I don't want. Accept life the way it is, but acknowledge how you really feel at least to yourself.
10. touch your own body with love and care. Send gratitude and appreciation to every part of your body every day.
11. Learn to fight constructively for what you feel, think, want.
12. Help others.

When did it actually happen? When did psychology really sell out? Was it when colleges and university level institutions began giving degrees away for a price? was it when the pharmaceutical industry realized the incredible fruitful market mental health represented? All that was needed was to convince every day people that they suffered some abnormality that required the "fix"? No longer did medicaition need to be limited to the real sufferers of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. If you suffer, then you qualify. Then the inundation of commercials selling the "fix".
At the same time, putting in jail all those who get their "fix" ON THE STREET instead of in the Doctor's office. At the same time, now on the medical side, after ignoring and disregarding chiropractors, acupuncturists and anyone alternative, they aligned with pharmaceuticals and insurance companies in a tight loyal union. so now if you are injured you are immediately and without question given "pain killers" to deaden your distress and which keeps you from seeking anything that presents a real solution to your injury.

Listen you must understand, You are responsible for your life, for your healing and for understanding what is real. These are pseudo solutions that are not real solutions. Granted, real solutions take work. psychological, physical, mental and spiritual work. To understand the real causes of your suffering, to change your misconceptions about your life and it's purpose, to face your SELF and bring your real self forward together with others willing to do the necessary work to change.

Both women and men are behaving compulsively these days. I see this extensively in the areas of drinking, sex. and drugs especially the prescribed type! What is compulsive behavior? What causes us to loose control of our habits? Or to misuse something to our detriment?
What can help us?

In my own journey, I did not accept the concept that I was a helpless being, a bi-product of my childhood and my brain chemistry. It is true, these are formidable obstacles, but they are not the ultimate determining factors in the outcome of facing our challenges in life.
Our brain chemistry changes. It changes with us. We change it, it changes us. for some, with a formidable inherited mental illness, like Schizophrenia, or the REAL BiPolar Disorder (now a diagnosis given to anyone with emotional instability) the brain exerts an unmanageable influence on their functioning. But for most, we are a product of our emotions, our thoughts and our behavior. But before that, we are a product of our perception.

What dictates that perception? Our awareness. Perception constitutes the way we organize what we are aware of.

Spiritual systems all over the world have attempted to provide models for how we see the world. Some have offered tools to become more aware, and more in control of our perception in order to change ourselves for the better.

Some systems developed over the course of ancient times. People studied awareness and the way to develop one's personal power to the point of being able to create a better life or at least one in line with one's true destiny. these systems point out that we are creators, Dreamers, and have the ability to move mountains, at least within.

In order to do so, you must first be able to begin to dismantle your view of yourself as a victim. One who is simply powerless and subject to forces outside that have nothing to do with you and your experience.
they suggest minimally, you can learn to change your perception. Once this is done, the outside changes also.

Meditation, Yoga, Holotropic Breathwork, Hemisync, and many other traditions are attempts to help you to experience different states of awareness to break up fixed patterns of perception. We can start by looking at the brain as constituting two sides of awareness. One side is linear, based on prior learning, and more accessible within your everyday awareness should you put your focus on what is happening within.
The other side, is the side involved in your daydreams, night dreams and more linked to feelings, intuition, and flashes of insight. This is the side that was accessed through LSD, and transcendental types of meditations, or any altered state kinds of experiences. this side of the brain is the "unknown" or "unmapped" parts of your self. Some traditions say your here to dismantle your conditioning, or learning experiences of your childhood in order to free yourself enough to begin to map out the unknown within your self and your true purpose here. One thing is certain, they all view you as having enormous potential for change and to contribute to the welfare of the world.

The radical aliveness program in Los Angeles went great and we had the first year graduation. The community night was amazing, facilitated by Ann Bradney, and Bill Say utilizing the method Ann is creating for community. It was a powerful experience for the community working with gender, race, sexuality, etc...etc...and of course with our own disowned parts! the classes I taught were intense and fun, and I saw so clearly how the most important relationhsip is the one with self, and that is what we give to everyone else! I love diversity. I am asking for anyone with a desire to help create a diversity forum here to let me know! I need help and support to figure out how to manifest this idea//vision and make it a reality..

the promise
the promise presented in esoteric literature, religion, healing, and psychology is that we can master our selves, and live truly enhanced meaningful lives that reflect our true desires.
How is this done? we know, the more onslaught, chaos, abuse, neglect, or just plain inaccurate guidance we receive in our earliest years will greatly negate our abilities. This creates changes in the organization of our bodies, causes unconscious dreamlike experiences to remain unprocessed in our right brain, and becomes conditioned learned thought and perception in our left language brain. Psychology was a way to address or try to change this type of learning and early experience.
Historically, we knew there were certain brain abnormalities, biochemical abnormalities that could be inherited. we believed this was the cause of schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. However, we also knew trauma could trigger these disorders, and could trigger other serious mental health problems. The higher the levels of stress in childhood, the more serious the difficulties.
Medication was discovered to have positive effects on these disorders and to increase the likelihood sufferers could function better. Not a cure, but a help.
However at some point it was discovered that meds that regulate moods, could also help in other types of problems. this led to the use of drugs to cover all types of psychological disorders or problems. the word depression became the diagnosis applied to people who had suffered serious losses. emotions that were difficult and intense became indicative of a disorder and meds the acceptable treatment. It is cheaper and easier than transformation. However, our emotions have a purpose.

we are built for experience and to learn from our experiences. to learn to process them accurately and to learn and make adjustments accordingly. How else will we learn to change??
Here is a basic key to working with your emotions which I learned from Theun Mares in the workshop facilitated by Elizabeth Schnugh.

Emotions arise from desire.
Anger is the desire to fight. the focus needs to be on the fight for clarity.
so step back, and go inside to fight for the clarity you seek, and bring out your truth with ruthless honesty with the intention to uplift everyone.

Sadness is the desire for change. Remember we can only change ourselves and this is where our focus needs to be. through doing "not doing" and changing our own patterns we change the world around us.

Fear is the desire to retreat. so step back. ask for support. identify the steps you must take to face your fear. and step forward into your challenge. remember you gain personal power by facing your fear, as this means you face your self.

Joy is the desire to live. So by working with these tools you will allow your desire for life to be expressed more and more.

we are all in this together. we are all trying to evolve into our truest potential. this is the promise inherent in life, find the keys where to put your energy your work, and then evolve yourself into the power that is yours to have and enjoy. this is not power over, but the power to have freedom from a conditioned life lacking in joy and meaning.

Tools You can use to Grow By....
When working with your self, be clear which level your working with. the cognitive level requires you develop proper thinking patterns. The emotional level requires you understand how to utilize your emotions. What they are, and what they are telling you as well as how to experience them. Emotions are linked to your desires. Physically, you must work with and take care of your body as it holds the unprocessed material in your life. Symptoms on the physical level are messages and your body requires love and attention from you.

Learning to use the concept of mirrors in our understanding of relationships greatly improves the way we interact and learn within them!

Taking a look at our relationships

We are all moving toward a better understanding of how everything is related. From an understanding of how our perception works, we begin to see that early in life we become fixated. Our perception, like information going through a camera lense, is organized in a specific way based on how we have been conditioned to see things.  Once this fixated perceptual pattern is in place, it is very unusual to be able to see around it, or to break the pattern.  As a result, we continue to have the same emotional and mental patterns over and over again. 

One way to work with the fact that we can not really see ourselves or our fixed patterns, is to see others as a mirror for what is inside of us.  So, we can assume if we can see it in someone else, it also exists in us as either a past, current or future reflection of our understanding and awareness.  So, when you see something in someone else, also look within. You do not always take the mirror you see at "face value".  Meaning, it could be underneath the presentation of the person.  So for instance, if a person is aggressive, entitled, hostile, you may immediately notice your own negative feeling toward the person as well as their style.  then you may go in and say, well I am not behaving this way until they do this to me.  Then I rise up and become angry.  Let's say that person is hiding feelings of being small, humiliated, or powerless and their behavior compensates for these feelings. When you interact with them, you may find you feel small, etc...and end up feeling angry with them.  They have served to help you see a place in yourself that can be made to feel small and insignificant and you may relate this to your developmental years.  this is how we can really benefit and make use of any mirror.  Once you own this mirror as a part of yourself, you can cope with that person better by having a sense of their "true state of being" as opposed to the face value they present to you.

This is a powerful process that can really move you forward in your relationship skills.  I learned a lot about practicing the "mirror" concept from Elizabeth Schnugh at a Relationship Seminar in Spokane Washington.  Much of the material was developed along with working with the concepts in the book That Darned Elusive Happiness by Theun Mares.  Theun Mares is a Toltec Seer and has apprentices whom he teaches and serves.