why do we find it so difficult to change our patterns; of thought, of emotion, and behavior? Can we find keys to understand how to intitiate powerful changes for the better in our lives? If we had the keys, would we use them and change?
I have searched for the "keys" to change. Some I have found in the sense of allowing a deeper understanding of what "motivates" my current strategies and those of others. If we understand ourselves deep enough this can empower us to bring about changes. We still have to accurately assess our thoughts, emotions and behaviors and link them to our deepest motivating factors. What do we want? where is our desire? often our desires are conflicting. for instance, we want to be close to someone, we want to speak our truth no matter what, and we want to be held in esteem by others. Sometimes we can not have all three at once. If we work at it, developing our relational skills, and unmask our deepest expectations and images, we can change what we call forth in our experiences with others.
First, use your experience with others in your life as a mirror to look at your own self. My teacher, Elizabeth Schnugh, facilitates workshops through the Institute for the Study of Man, Elizabeth says "don't make yourself or others wrong". She teaches we must understand the "mirror" concept and look beyond the "face value" in others to what is underneath. This is often where the mirror is reflecting something in our self.
Some of us organize our behavior to obtain a positive reflection from others while underneath making ourselves wrong for denying our own true experience and expression. Others will speak their truth, while making others wrong in order to feel justified in the lack of skill in taking others in. Myself, I can even fluctuate, depending on how much I am "grounded" and not overstressed and how aware of self and other I can be in each moment.
Self care, is probably one of the most important basic skills and changes that have to occur for life quality and awareness to improve. This begins a very basic step-by-step development of a deep relationship with your self that must come first. Based on the "mirror" concept, your relationships with others will improve, as your relationship with yourself improves.
