In studying with Theun Mares and attending workshops facilitated by Elizabeth Schnugh through the Institute for the Study of Man, I have come to review much of what I have believed in psychological practice and theory. I am better able to see the connections, the language differences, and the strengths of the Toltec messages based on their exploration of man and experience.
Lately I have been considering how we actually can fight to leave our conditioned learning behind. To work with unconscious material more directly in daily life. How to utilize our emotional experience as a source of information we can actually work with. The importance of dreams in daily life. Also, the way we can see and understand our BEHAVIOR as accurate indications of our current state of being. I am realizing we can Think anything we want. We can say anything we want. We can believe anything we want. We can write anything we want. And the "proof is in the pudding" isn't it.
Negative behavior patterns are the result of distortions in our learning and understanding. Places we have not adequately "mapped out" our current understanding and mastery in terms of our current (and past) challenges. Often, negative patterns are based on the "misconception" that we can avoid our pain. Yet our pain is the message that we must learn. It is the defense against pain that is our downfall, not the pain itself.
We develop strategies in earliest childhood to handle our "pain". Pain equates with discomfort, disequilibrium, and emotion such as fear, anger, and sadness. We contract and go inside ourselves to master the experience. The balance between going inside to our fantasy, and reaching outside for more experience is struck very early in life. We develop our thinking brain to rationalize, think, and think some more. As if this will solve the problem! We spend our time in self-soothing fantasy behaviors. Most of the time we are behaving in relationship with thought, not in relationship to actual experience with others , but our thought which we did not even know we had!
Thought takes on a pattern of negativity. Is not truly supportive of going out into the unknown. Of reaching into true possibility. It keeps the same negative messages going. The ones that were in our early family life but not necessarily spoken. Just felt and not processed.
Pride, distortions, fear, defensiveness all develop in an attempt NOT TO EXPERIENCE anything new! Yet all the time we struggle to get away from, or out of our pain into something new! The very thing we are most uncomfortable with and want to avoid we SAY we want.
Humans are particularly suseptible to our own lies! We are actually very funny creatures! (again, Theun)
Have you noticed we fall in love, and for awhile it is wonderful. We are willing to be open, to share, to give the benefit of open warmth and feedback. Yet, we get commited to someone and alas! the negative voices begin to emerge. Do not open, do not share, do not reach out, punish, withhold, withdraw, blah blah blah. We begin to close our precious heartful feelings off from the others to avoid the pain that the love is calling forth for clearing. We refuse, and we say," well it just didnt work out".
Or it is when we are happiest that we arrange our downfall. We spring a leak so to speak. We begin to use substances, to over-indulge in our biggest weakness, anything rather than learn to show up for the joy we seek. Joy means the DESIRE TO LIVE (Theun Mares) as learned through the workshops with Elizabeth Schnugh. Anger the desire to fight. Instead of fighting against our joy, and those we love, we need to really fight for the clarity to know what to support and what to challenge. We can challenge each other with WARMTH AND TRUTH AT THE SAME TIME. Yet we use our anger to punish and destroy what we love! Fear is the desire to retreat and we are all afraid. Mostly we are afraid of our death and we do not want to face it. TIme is short, life is short, and we want to act as if we have all the time in the world and go dead before we have to experience it. The belief that we can avoid anything, escape our learning is a misconception. We have forgotten how to open up, reach and ask for support, for help and step into our challenges with a full heart. Knowing the only failure is a failure to fight (Theun Mares). We are in a battle we can not win, as surely we will battle old age and die no matter what!
So in light of this unresolvable delema how do we reopen our defensive heart? Atleast we have arrived at a valid thought!